How to Lose a Girl with Just One Text

I've worked at the wine store for over 6 years now.  Yuck, just typing that makes me sick.  I honestly didn’t think I’d work there more than a couple months.  But I’m still there.

Like I’ve mentioned before, I meet a lot of interesting people. 

I had one gentleman that didn’t come in very often, but he’s a tough one to forget.  He’s a big guy, 6’5” and I think very handsome.  He’s not only big in height but I’d say he’s got a couple extra pounds on him.  Not too much, just right; just the right amount to hold onto.  He looks to be about 45 years old, has sandy brown hair, big hands and big feet (you know what that means J) a nice smile and very blue eyes.  He’s fun to look at and I’ll admit I may have had a couple dreams about him.

When he does come into the store, I get a little excited and nervous.  He always has a big smile for me and is very polite and complementary.  He looks me over, gives me a wink and tells me how nice it is to see a tall beautiful woman, dressed to the 9’s and in heels.  When he leaves the store, like all the other times, I think: Wow!  I really wanted and thought he was going to ask me out. 

Anyway, I’m working one Saturday evening with Samantha.  Samantha is about 23 years old and a self-proclaimed nerd.  She is super smart, stringy hair, big nose and glasses.  She was on Jeopardy and did really well.  She has a wit about her that is fantastic.  Even though we have nothing in common, I love talking with her. 

We finish with our rush hour and I decide I would like to run to the Coffee Shop for a coffee.  Their coffee is such a treat that it makes the hours go by faster.

I make my order a non-fat, decaf white chocolate mocha with no whip.  As I’m waiting, leaning against the wall I see him.  I haven’t seen him in a long time and he looks good.

He was walking through the store and stops abruptly looking in my direction.  I see him and suddenly feel warm.  It looks like he’s deciding if he wants to come to talk to me. 

Yes!  Come over to talk with me!   I look away thinking No!  Don’t come over!  I’m nervous!  I’m not sure I can handle it!  My heart is doing double time when I look back and see him walking to me.  Oh goodness – here we go!

“Hi – don’t you work in the liquor store?”  He says with a devilish smile on his face.

“Yes I do.” I say with a blush. 

“I would recognize those legs anywhere.”

Wow.

“What?  My legs?”  I say trying my best to keep standing.   

“Yes, your legs.” He says checking them out once again.  “I just have to say I’ve walked past your store so many times just to look at your legs.  You’ve worked there for a while now haven’t you?”

“Yes, I feel like I live there.” I say smiling but with so much nervous energy that I could light up New York City. 

“I remember you – I used to go through your store years ago.  I haven’t been in for a long time.” 

“Why’s that?”

“I’m sorry, I’m Mike and your Cheetahtort – right?” He asks avoiding my question yet I’m still very impressed he remembered my name until I recall I was wearing a name tag.

“Well, it was nice to see you again – I have to get my shopping done.  I hope to see you again.” He says and walks away.

I smile at him confused, “Nice to see you too.  Have a good night.” 

I walk back into the liquor store with my coffee and tell Samantha what just happened.  I’m so bewildered as to why this man would walk up to me and compliment me and then just walk away abruptly.  What did I do wrong in those few seconds?  It would have been nice if he asked me out. 

“Hmmmm . . . ” she says with a look on her face that wonders if she can figure this out like a math problem.

“You know guys can be really shy too.” 

“He doesn’t look like a guy that would be shy.” I say. “He complemented me on my legs.  Guys that have courage like that are not shy.”  As I’m saying this Mike is walking through our doors into the liquor store.

I smile at him and Samantha has no idea that this is Mike.

“Hi again!” He says with a smile that says I just needed to talk to you more.  “I need a red wine to go with the steaks I just bought for my party tonight.  Can you help me choose the appropriate wine?”

“Of course, what do you like, Cabernet? Merlot? Pinot?”  Samantha asks not knowing he’s talking to me.

He gives me a look telling me that he didn’t want her help, but mine.  But I let this happen and want to play this out.  Knowing deep down inside he came in to talk to me more. 

She helps him pick out a wine and they come to the counter.  I’m standing behind it drinking my coffee.  She starts to ring him up. 

“What, are you the bouncer here?”  He says to me.

I look down at myself and I have my arms crossing my chest and I either look like the boss or the bouncer. 

I laugh at his comment and say “Well, someone has to watch over the store for people like you.”  I say trying to be witty and failing miserably.

Samantha turns to look at me and notices my nervous energy.  She instantly knows that this is the guy.  She then says “What, Cheetahtort?  She’s just here to make sure we make the right wine selections.  If we don’t she always steps in.  She’s very knowledgeable.” 

“Samantha is just kidding.  She’s knows more than I do and she made an excellent choice for you and your friends.”

“Well, you ladies have a good night.” And he was gone. 

I looked at Samantha and say “What? Again?  It must have been my joke.”

Samantha was just as confused as I was.  “You could tell he wanted to ask you out but was just too nervous.  It was really cute actually.” 

“You thought he was nervous?”   

“Of course!  I think I might have even seen him sweat!”  She starts to laugh!

“Cheetahtort!  Guys get nervous too!  You are a beautiful woman and he obviously wants to get to know you but doesn’t know how to go about it.  You haven’t heard the last of him.  That I’m sure.”

I think about what she says and it gives me hope.  But he’s done this so many times before.

About an hour passes and the phone rings.  Samantha and I are standing around purposely not working and just chatting about what’s going on in our lives. 

“Wine and Spirits” I say as I pick up the phone.

No one is there – “Wine and Spirits” I say again into the phone.  Once again nothing happens and I say to Samantha – “No one’s there.”

“Hello?”  I hear on the other end. 

“Hello?”  I say. 

“Yeah, I’m looking for Cheetahtort?”

“This is Cheetahtort, can I help you?”

“Cheetahtort, this is Mike – I met you by the Coffee Shop.”

I look over to Samanta and smile – she knows instantly that it is Mike on the phone.

“Yes, hi Mike, what can I do for you?”

“Well, listen, I’ve been in your store so many times.”  He hesitates “So many times before.”  He continues.  Another pause.  He hems and haws.  “Listen – I’m sorry – I haven’t done this in a long time – but I’ve noticed you a long time ago.  Actually walked through your store looking for you, looking at your legs and wanting to ask you out, but couldn’t.  I was married.  I’ve now been divorced for about 6 months and am now getting the courage to ask you out.  Can I take you out for coffee or lunch sometime?”  He spoke so fast like he wanted to get all the words out before he lost the courage. 

Wow – men really are scared!  He had two chances to ask me in person but chickened out and had to wait until he got into the safety of his home and ask me out on the phone.  He couldn’t risk getting rejected in person.  I had to laugh at this.  I loved this.  Men really are just as nervous as women. 

“That’s so nice.  Thank you.  That would be really nice.  Yes.”

“I’m making dinner right now for my friends, could you take my number down and call me?”

“Um, ah sure.” I say wondering why he isn’t asking me for my number.  But why should he be any different than any man I’ve met in the past and be normal?  Although, he did take the first step and called the store for me – so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  I took down his number and told him I’d call him soon.

“Looking forward to it!  I’ve got to go and I’ll talk to you soon.”

I act like a typical guy and wait a day or two to call him.  I get the courage and call.  We talk for about 10 minutes and then he says he needs to go.  It was such a brief conversation I can’t even tell really what kind of guy he is.  I throw my hands up in the air and say “I give up!” to myself.  He didn’t ask me out again!

As I’m driving home from work the next day he calls.  I look at my phone and wonder if it’s worth it for me to pick up.  Is he just going to say a few words and then have to go again?

I take the chance and pick up.  He talks to me like we’ve known each other forever.  He tells me a little about his divorce.  I notice he doesn’t ask me too many questions but I’m getting used to this.  

“Well, what do you say Cheetahtort, should we get together for dinner some night?”

Finally! 

We decided to go out for drinks at a bar close to my part-time job as I had to work that evening until 8.

I pull into the parking lot and start walking into the bar when I hear “Hey Beautiful.”

I turn around to see him walking my way and smile.  He gives me a once over, shakes his head and gives me a big bear hug. 

Wow!  Didn’t expect that!  But it was nice, I guess.

We sit down in a booth and I order myself a glass of wine.  He orders himself an iced tea. 

Uh oh. I think to myself.  Why only an iced tea?

I don’t have to wonder too long.

“I’m a recovering alcoholic, I’ve been sober for 15 years now.”

I give him a questioning look.  “Um – you were just in my store and bought wine.  You didn’t buy non-alcoholic wine.”

“The wine is for my friends.” He says staring at me trying to judge my reaction.

“Well, good for you!  Fifteen years!  That’s awesome.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?”

“Well, my ex minded.  She liked to go out and drink to get drunk.  She hated it that she didn’t have a drinking partner any longer.  That eventually split us up.  Well, not just that.  She wasn’t into sex anymore.  I’d try and try to seduce her – but she wouldn’t have it.  See, I’m the type of guy that likes to have sex.”

Here we go again . . . why do guys give out too personal information right away.  Does he really think I’m interested in hearing about his sex life? 

“Um . . . what guy isn’t?”  I say laughing and trying to shrug it off.  

“I know and I thought women liked to have sex too!  We used to have a great sex life then she just wasn’t into it anymore.” 

I notice he talks really fast and has an anxious energy about him.  He’s tapping his fingers on the table and tapping his feet.  He’s constantly moving.  It’s kind of unsettling.

I try to steer the conversation to other appropriate topics like what he does for a living, does he have kids, what he likes to do (besides sex).  You know normal first date conversations.

It worked for awhile.  I found out that he has a daughter that he absolutely adores.  He has a great job and makes a lot of money.  He has three houses and many cars.  I’ve never gone out with a wealthy man before and this makes me nervous.  My mother always told me “the only way to keep a man faithful is to keep him on a budget.”  The guys I’ve been on dates with lately don’t have jobs; live with their parents and are up to their eyeballs in debt because of their multiple DWIs. 

The conversation goes back to his sobriety.  He tells me he wasn’t just addicted to alcohol but also cocaine.  I notice his nerves again and wonder if it’s because he’s talking about his addictions.  This makes me even more nervous as I’ve never done drugs. 

Overall, the date is nice.  I question if I want to go out with an alcoholic and ex-drug addict?  Where are the men without baggage?  I’m without baggage, well except my cat, Isabeau.  Is it so bad for me to want the same in return?  But, he has been sober for over 15 years.  Maybe I can deal with this.

He pays for the drinks and his appetizers and we walk to the parking lot. 

“Did I tell you I have a hot tub at my house?” He asks as we walk to my car.

“No, you didn’t.  That sounds very appealing!”  I smile wondering where he is going with this.

“Don’t laugh at my car.”  I say trying to take the conversation elsewhere.

“What’s wrong with your car?”

“Uggg, I hate it and my hub cap fell off so it looks ghetto.  I have an extra but I can’t get it on myself.”

“Well, let’s see what we can do about that.”  He says and I get all excited to have a man that is willing to help.

“I don’t have the hub cap with me.”

“Well, when do you work next?  Bring your hub cap in and I’ll come to help you out.”

How nice!

“Thank you!  I work again tomorrow.”

“I’ll come by to help when I’m done with work.” He suggests, and then gives me another bear hug.  This is nice.  Really nice.  This strong hug makes me feel safe. 

We say our goodnights and are on our ways.

As I’m driving away my phone rings.  It’s him and I smile.  Normally when a guy calls me right away I’m extremely annoyed.  But when he called I was happy.

I answer.  “What’s up?”

“Hey – did I miss out on an opportunity to have you come over and into my hot tub?”

I laugh.  “Ummm no – I don’t think that would be right.”

“Not right?  Why?”  He says fast. 

“Maybe some other time when we know each other more.”  I say still laughing at how presumptuous men can be.  Normally, a question like this would present a red flag.  But I kind of like him and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Sometimes I give up too fast. 

“Alright, have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says with a disappointed tone.

The next day, he walks into the store and for some reason I feel very close to him and protected by him.  It was the way he was looking at me.  The way he was walking to me with purpose.  The way he put his arms around me like we’ve been together for a long time and I was his. 

“Hi, Beautiful.  Did you have a good day?  Did you bring your hub cap?”  He asks, looking down to me and still holding me.  I look up to him and love this feeling. 

“I totally forgot it this morning.  I’m sorry.  I should have told you earlier before you came in.  But I’m glad I still get to see you.” 

He gives me a quick smile.

“Alright.  Well, I’ll help you when we see each other again.  I’ve got to run.”  He says with his frantic energy once again.

“Oh, O.K.”  I say wondering why he can’t stay to talk for a bit, especially since I was leaving that weekend for a family trip and wasn’t sure when I would be able to see him again.

While I’m gone, I get a lot of texts from him.  He wants to see me when I get back.  I get an excited feeling  - the feeling where you think your belly is full of butterflies.    

“Did you think about me while you were gone?”  He asks me on the phone when I got back into town.

How could I not with all his text messages.

“Yes, I did.  Did you?”

“You were all I thought of.”  He said in a very low sexy voice.  Yeah, I can get used to this.  He makes me flush. 

“Can we see each other tomorrow?”  He asks.  “I’ve missed you.”

“Yes, I’d like that.” 

“Well, I’m off to a friend’s house right now – I’ll call you when I leave.”

While he’s at his friend’s house he continues to text me.  A lot of texts!  Random/stupid texts like – “What are you wearing?”  “I want to see you.”  “I’m telling my friends all about you.”  “My friends all hated my wife and they want to meet you.”  “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!”  “I wish I were with you instead of here.”

“Pay attention to your friends!  I’ll see you tomorrow.”  I text back.  Why isn’t he busy with his friends?  What are they doing?  Is he doing drugs again?  Sitting around drinking, doing drugs and talking about me? 

Then I get the TEXT.

The text reads:   “Do you like oral sex?  Cause I’ve wanted to eat your pussy since the first day I saw you.”

Excuse me?  Gross!  He must be back on drugs?!  How do you say that to someone that you’ve just met?  Someone you haven’t even kissed yet!

I don’t respond.

He texts again.  “Did I scare you off?”

“Don’t ever contact me again.”  I text back extremely disappointed.

And he never did.